I will try to log in here once a week. Logging the happenings with my youngest daughter. I have won temporary custody of her for one year.
Let see now, where to start.
The Judge changed the visitation some. At first I hoped that he would make her (the EX) help a bit. She has not help any since the divorce, in any manner. She has tried to keep me out of the girls life. It has been one long fight. When I explained this to my girlfriend, that I wished the Judge would make her help. She stated quite well, “You have been doing it since the divorce, so things are just the same. You do have custody of Tanisha.” Truth in her statement. Take the positive and run with it.
Summer visitation with both girls went quite well. Monica seemed a little tense at first. Tried to make things a bit challenging. I just overlooked it, even though deep down I wanted to address the situation. She settled in and things got much better. Just when we were getting to the point where I could enjoy her, I had to return her to her mother.
Tanisha is home now. Brought her back with my girlfriend and her kids. The good news is her children really like it here. I think they will like to move here next year. That is when we are speaking of getting married. Gladly, and much to my relief, my girlfriend likes it here also. I was a bit fearful that she would not like it.
Kimberly (my girlfriends daughter, and Tanisha’s best friend) and Tanisha were discussing plans for when we all live together. Her and Tanisha will have to share a room. I guess they made plans on how they want it. So the both of them are very happy with the situation. This is quite good and a relief to the both of us adults. The mental health and welfare of our kids is very important to the both of us.
Alex (her nine year old son) made this statement, “I am ready to live here, but can I spend the summers with my Dad?” Of course! We are 14 to 16 hour drive from El Paso, so visitation on that part would be a bit tough. The good news though is their father is likely going to get a job in San Antonio. That is only 5 to 6 hours away. Got to take him fishing. He caught a catfish about half his size! Was the biggest fish I ever helped land also. It was so big it frightened him! Had to stop him from running away!
School for Tanisha starts the 23rd of August. She is happy about that. Considering in El Paso they start on Monday. We plan some clothes shopping the week before school. She is excited about starting. Adina (her best friend here) is very happy they are going to be together again. She spends every minute she can at the house.
The house has been more like a home than ever. All the kids running around. Has been absolutely great. Wanted to spend more time at the lake, but the weather did not cooperate. Been raining way too much. One good thing, got to show the kids an alligator in the river. Kids are so hard to impress! They were not as excited to see it as I was. KIDS!
Had a bonfire for the kids. They made smores. They really enjoyed that.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Flashbacks
Sometimes, I think about her and the only thing that comes to mind is F***ING B*TCH! She keeps trying to say we are still married. Can you believe it! I can't believe she wants to return with me nor do I believe it. Even though some closest to me say it is so. I do not want her back, not this time. For me it is over. All of the lies and manipulation, I do not need that sort of woman in my life anymore. She is gone and good riddance.
My oldest told me she got another job...good for her! Now she will have to work. I did wish you bad thing, but now I just do not care.
My oldest told me she got another job...good for her! Now she will have to work. I did wish you bad thing, but now I just do not care.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Fairness to Fathers?
Another day has passed without my girls. My ability to contact them is being hampered by their mother. I call and call their cell phones, and they do not answer. I text them and text them, they do not respond. I have never had a problem with then taking my calls.
While at work last night, I received a call from their mother. It seems she wants more money. Imagine that. When I said no, she got angry. It seems she is not happy with the amount that the court awarded her. I will not say how much I pay her. I will give a math problem. If she were to work a regular job, her pay would be $ 12.55 per hour (remember, she does not have to pay any taxes on that money). Pretty good pay for only sending the girls to school and waiting for them to come home again. I understand that taking care of children is a full time job. I am willing to do it for nothing!
Well, after that dispute, the children do not answer phones.
So, I sent them a text message.
Hey girls what is going on? I have been calling and texting for hours and no response. If you are not using the phones I will have them turned off.
Yep, I got a call in 5 minutes. I had to explain that I got the phones so that I may communicate with them. If I cannot talk to them, then the phones are not needed. If we are angry, then what? That is why we got the phones to work things out. You are my girls and I want/need to keep in constant communication with you two. At least one call per day. Does not matter if it is a 2 minute call. I just want that 2 minutes.
After that, the talking was carefree and upbeat with the both of them. In all it turned out real nice. It was frustrating for awhile.
So, my question? What is their mother doing/telling them and how to I deal with it? I really do not know. She has them a thousand miles away from me, and can influence them. How long will it take for their eyes to open up? How long will it take to understand what their mother has done? I have spoken to other divorced men. They say it could be years, just stay strong. Okay, what about their youth that I am missing.
It does my heart good that they are adjusting to their school and making friends. On the other side of the coin. My own selfishness, wishes they would hate it. I have to put that aside. Their adjustment is far more important than mine. I never really doubted that though, they are quite lovely ladies. Bragging about my girls is not a bad thing is it? They are really well behave and well-spoken. Above all, intelligent. Better children one could not ask for. In that aspect I am very lucky. Just thinking about them fills my heart with pride.
While at work last night, I received a call from their mother. It seems she wants more money. Imagine that. When I said no, she got angry. It seems she is not happy with the amount that the court awarded her. I will not say how much I pay her. I will give a math problem. If she were to work a regular job, her pay would be $ 12.55 per hour (remember, she does not have to pay any taxes on that money). Pretty good pay for only sending the girls to school and waiting for them to come home again. I understand that taking care of children is a full time job. I am willing to do it for nothing!
Well, after that dispute, the children do not answer phones.
So, I sent them a text message.
Hey girls what is going on? I have been calling and texting for hours and no response. If you are not using the phones I will have them turned off.
Yep, I got a call in 5 minutes. I had to explain that I got the phones so that I may communicate with them. If I cannot talk to them, then the phones are not needed. If we are angry, then what? That is why we got the phones to work things out. You are my girls and I want/need to keep in constant communication with you two. At least one call per day. Does not matter if it is a 2 minute call. I just want that 2 minutes.
After that, the talking was carefree and upbeat with the both of them. In all it turned out real nice. It was frustrating for awhile.
So, my question? What is their mother doing/telling them and how to I deal with it? I really do not know. She has them a thousand miles away from me, and can influence them. How long will it take for their eyes to open up? How long will it take to understand what their mother has done? I have spoken to other divorced men. They say it could be years, just stay strong. Okay, what about their youth that I am missing.
It does my heart good that they are adjusting to their school and making friends. On the other side of the coin. My own selfishness, wishes they would hate it. I have to put that aside. Their adjustment is far more important than mine. I never really doubted that though, they are quite lovely ladies. Bragging about my girls is not a bad thing is it? They are really well behave and well-spoken. Above all, intelligent. Better children one could not ask for. In that aspect I am very lucky. Just thinking about them fills my heart with pride.
Information?
Something I find highly curious. After you are divorced, the amount of people who know what your ex-spouse was doing. They then come out and tell you things. More so, when they know she has moved to another city.
Some things I suspected, others I was quite surprised by. You know I am actually okay with it now. I still have the pain of the loss of my children. Even though everyone tells me, “YOU NEVER LOSE YOUR CHILDREN”. When you are used to coming home to them everyday, helping them with their homework, fixing some electronic device for them, just kid’s need/wants. The silence is painful. Everything went against me as I see it. My parents say it is not so. When my children are separated from me by a thousand miles, it is against me. I cannot just up and go if they need me.
Troubling also is when they call for help with their homework. This is very important to me. I can no longer check their work prior to then turning it in. We cannot discuss school projects. I can no longer be asked, “Dad, will you go on the field trip with us?” I can no longer be forbidden by my eldest, because parents are “embarrassing”.
Good thing for cell phones! I can call them directly. Do not need to go through anyone else. I am learning how to use the text messaging feature. Something they both really like. Not very good at it, but I am learning. How can they do it so fast? You know the saying, “as being all thumbs”. It is not natural, you only use your thumbs to text, now I am really screwed up! Now I am all fingers!
Some things I suspected, others I was quite surprised by. You know I am actually okay with it now. I still have the pain of the loss of my children. Even though everyone tells me, “YOU NEVER LOSE YOUR CHILDREN”. When you are used to coming home to them everyday, helping them with their homework, fixing some electronic device for them, just kid’s need/wants. The silence is painful. Everything went against me as I see it. My parents say it is not so. When my children are separated from me by a thousand miles, it is against me. I cannot just up and go if they need me.
Troubling also is when they call for help with their homework. This is very important to me. I can no longer check their work prior to then turning it in. We cannot discuss school projects. I can no longer be asked, “Dad, will you go on the field trip with us?” I can no longer be forbidden by my eldest, because parents are “embarrassing”.
Good thing for cell phones! I can call them directly. Do not need to go through anyone else. I am learning how to use the text messaging feature. Something they both really like. Not very good at it, but I am learning. How can they do it so fast? You know the saying, “as being all thumbs”. It is not natural, you only use your thumbs to text, now I am really screwed up! Now I am all fingers!
Good News Bad News Worse News
I spoke to my youngest baby today. Got some good news and bad news. The sad thing is it the same news. The News:
The NEW GIRL IS SO SMART. That is what her fellow classmates are saying. Makes a father beem with pride. The bad news. It is something she has done last year at Brookeland’s school. So, she is in a larger city that is behind Brookeland. This does trouble me, but what can I do? Just encourage her to continue to do her best.
GO BABY !!!
The NEW GIRL IS SO SMART. That is what her fellow classmates are saying. Makes a father beem with pride. The bad news. It is something she has done last year at Brookeland’s school. So, she is in a larger city that is behind Brookeland. This does trouble me, but what can I do? Just encourage her to continue to do her best.
GO BABY !!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)